New Parent weekend.

ok, so we participated in a new parent orientation this past weekend. We're not new parents yet, hence the need to complete the weekend before we're issued a small human to take care of. ;)

So we go into this weekend with an open mind and lots of questions, and the class was very helpful. But that's not the point of this entry. A few observations about the weekend.

Preface: I am a clown. I crack jokes at inopportune times occasionally and generally make an ass out of myself when around friends. I have, over the years, generally learned to tone it down in public and around strangers.

1) We had a guy sitting in the back of the conference room during the day 1 presentation repeating as much as he could remember of the famous (infamous?) Bill Cosby pregnancy routine from his 1983 "Himself" concert. Oh yea. That's 23 years ago for those of you playing the Junior edition of Life. I was lucky enough on the 2nd day to be seated far away from this guy.

2) "Cosby" then interrogates the visiting physician during his presentation about hospital security. Look, I know you'll be concerned about your new kid. Yes, I've seen the episode of Law and Order where all the babies are being stolen. But when the physician tells you that everyone has to have a scannable ID to get through the multiple doors from the entrance to the nursery, the nurses log all employees and visitors, and every baby has an ankle alarm that locks the doors if one goes too far, why is it necessary to inquire "if they're sure"? Um. I think they're sure. The kid's safe.

3) Props to all moms out there. Us guys can help where possible, but you all rule.

4) I love the fact that they cover most of the "worst-case scenarios" that can happen before, during, and after the birthing process, then tell you that "oh, but we haven't seen one of these in years. Comforting.

5) I still can't wait for the whole thing. Nothing gets yer blood pumping like running out the door, hair on fire, bag in one hand, uncomfortable girl in the other... rumblin', stumblin' bumblin' on the way to the hospital... :)

ahhh... the Miracle of Life.

- kb